just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
