isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
