I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
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