Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
