I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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