Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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