so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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