So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
