Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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