brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
NoShamevember. You game?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
