Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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