the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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