I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
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