If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
