So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
the raccoons are back...
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