remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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