I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize