She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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