At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
