Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
