Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she smelled like a LAN party
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
