i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
