somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
