I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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