they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
