We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
