been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
