after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
