Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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