i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
