I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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