Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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