Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
