I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
