:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
