I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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