put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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