Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
This girl is more easily done than said...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
