Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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