We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
The struggles of a small town man whore
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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