did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
