pedialite and red bull = repair kit
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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