I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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