O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
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