South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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