I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
