yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
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