I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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