Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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