Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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