There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
