soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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