we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
