we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
