every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
