he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
