A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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