all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
