You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize