hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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