Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Be still, my beating vagina.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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