So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
