Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
