could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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