Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
God I need to hump something, right now.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
