dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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